“Grief is love with nowhere to go.” These poignant words were shared by Erika Frost, grief support specialist at Thema Hospice, during the first session of a four-week class series being offered at Handmaker this month.
By the time people reach their 70s, many have experienced the loss of loved ones, including parents, siblings, friends, or partners. But grief can take many forms, especially later in life. It may also arise from the loss of independence, a transition to a new living situation, or the challenges of adapting to changes in a family member’s or partner’s health and needs.
As Erika reminded participants, “Grief is one of the most human experiences we will ever have, but many of us were not taught how to move through it.”
Recognizing the need for support during difficult times, Handmaker has partnered with Thema Hospice to offer Growth Through Grief, a four-week series designed to provide connection, understanding, and gentle tools for navigating grief and life’s many changes. The response so far has been overwhelmingly positive.
Although Handmaker staff members were also invited to participate, the first sessions have primarily drawn residents. With Erika’s gentle guidance and thoughtful prompts, some participants have shared their personal experiences, while others have chosen simply to listen. Both are welcome. At the end of the first class, several residents reported feeling a little lighter. One resident, who had been experiencing shoulder pain that she thought might be related to her grief, shared that her discomfort had decreased considerably.
Erika emphasized that grief is a deeply personal experience, quoting author and grief expert David Kessler: “Each person’s grief is as unique as their fingerprint.” She also offered practical advice for supporting someone who is grieving. Listening without judgment, rather than offering advice or trying to find a silver lining, can make a meaningful difference. Everyone deserves the space to experience grief in their own way and in their own time.
Although this is the first time in recent years Handmaker has offered this type of class series for residents, it will not be the last. Residents have expressed gratitude for the opportunity to come together in a supportive environment, and the positive response has encouraged Thema to offer another series this winter for residents, staff, and family members. The upcoming program will include a session in early December focused on coping with the “holiday blues,” which can be especially difficult for those experiencing grief.
Erika closed the first session by sharing a poem by Terry Kettering, “Elephant in the Room,” which speaks to the discomfort many people feel when acknowledging another person’s grief. Its opening lines offer a powerful reminder of why these conversations matter:
There’s an elephant in the room.
It is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it.
Yet we squeeze by with, “How are you?” and “I’m fine,” and a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.
We talk about the weather. We talk about work. We talk about everything else, except the elephant in the room.
