Dear Avi and Adele: I’d like to go out with a girl I work with. She’s great and we enjoy the time we’ve spent together. Is this a good idea?
-Workin’ it at Work
Dear Workin’ It: Yes and no. Your work may have a policy about company dating, which is a protection to them and you. They want to avoid lawsuits, distracted employees and messy situations. They want you to avoid lowering your work performance. If your work does not have a policy, consider what it is you like about this girl and how it would translate into personal life. For some people, work life and personal life are very separate and different. So if you find her organized, in control, confident and very polished at work, be prepared for the possibility that she will be the exact opposite outside the office!
Additionally, you may or may not know anything about her Jewish life from work: she may keep kosher at home or at work or both. She may take Yom Kippur off from work but not go to synagogue. If she’s not Jewish, she may have a deep-seated interest in learning more about being a part of the Jewish community or she may have little interest.
At the end of the day, knowing a person at work may or may not offer a good entrée into her personal life. Avi and Adele advocate a simple approach: just like meeting her anywhere else, proceed with simple steps at a pace that feels right. And if it works, be prepared to talk about what it means with your work life. And if it doesn’t, be ready to be a grown-up at the work place and get over a sticky situation.
Livin’ and lovin’,
Avi and Adele
To submit questions to Avi and Adele, e-mail aa@letmypeoplegrow.org. Please go to www.letmypeoplegrow.org – a blog dedicated to cultivating Jewish conversations on topics that matter, while educating, entertaining and engaging our national Jewish community.
