Bubbes Marlyne Freedman and Sharon Klein enjoy breakfast at the Sunny Daze Cafe.

Breakfast is touted as the most important meal of the day. It starts us off each day on the right foot and sustains us until lunch. Marlyne Freedman, senior vice president of the Jewish Federation of Southern Arizona, and I have taken this motto to heart and have met periodically over the past few years for what we call “Bubbe Breakfast.”

When we two bubbes (Jewish grandmothers) come together for this morning meal, we make the most of our social time. We talk grandma talk as well as network and brainstorm.

On these outings, we don’t frequent the usual chains, but rather local establishments, many mom-and-pop operations, some open for breakfast and lunch only. As others have learned of these téte-a-téte meals, they have suggested their own favorite hole-in-the-wall breakfast places around the Old Pueblo. These jaunts have provided local color and a chance to experience parts of town we would not ordinarily frequent and ethnic dishes we would not necessarily have ordered.

Together, we’ve compiled our “Best of the Best Bubbe Breakfasts” list — two weeks’ worth of favorite spots with a short highlight about each. We do not claim to be restaurant critics, only hungry morning customers. Whether ordering poached eggs over easy, huevos rancheros, or the

breakfast combo, we walked away satisfied.

B’tay avon (hearty appetite) and enjoy.

• 5th Street Kosher Deli and Market — 5071 E. 5th St. — delicious matzah brie

• Alice’s Restaurant — 5416 E. Pima St. — Coca-cola décor

• Brawley’s Restaurant — 6367 E. Broadway Blvd. — a family favorite with logo shirts and hats

• Bread & Butter Café — 4231 E. 22nd St. — home-style feel with a slice of pie to go

• Frank’s Restaurant —3843 E. Pima St. — down-home cooking

• Happy Rooster Café —1114 S. Sarnoff Dr. — farm theme

• Jethro’s Little Café — 8585 E. Broadway Blvd. — cozy/scenic wall paintings and humorous posters

• Laverna’s Coffee Shop — 220 S. Plumer Ave. — seating at couches or tables

• Le Buzz — 9121 E. Tanque Verde Rd. — bakery and breakfast café for Eastsiders, bikers

• Micha’s Restaurant — 2908 S. 4th Ave. — South Tucson favorite

• Mother Hubbard’s Restaurant — 14 W. Grant Rd. — wonderful diner not far from downtown

• Poco & Mom’s Restaurant — 1060 S. Kolb Road — Southwestern flair

• Sunny Daze Café — 4980 S. Campbell Ave. — Islands theme/checkerboard table

• Teresa’s Mosaic Café — 2456 N. Silver Mosaic Dr. (Grant/Silverbell location) — terrific view/Mexican cuisine

Sharon Klein writes the P.S. column for the AJP.

Brownie Ebner at a party for her 100th birthday on Nov. 11, 2011 at Atria Campana del Rio. (Sheila Wilensky)

Brownie Ebner turned 100 on Nov. 11. “Why is everybody making such a big deal? If I could take credit for curing cancer or something like that I’d brag about it. What do I have to brag about?” she asked the AJP last month, sitting in her tidy apartment at Atria Campana del Rio Senior Living.

For starters, Ebner, who has lived more than 60 of her 100 years in Tucson, displays a keen intellect, remembers jokes and delivers them adeptly, and still enjoys playing poker and other games. She has always loved reading, but because of macular degeneration, she now listens to audio books.

Ebner doesn’t know why she’s lived so long: “Is it genes? I could have died five times over,” she says. “It’s luck that I’ve lived so long.”

Life — as it always does — has thrown Ebner a few curves. She was born in Providence, R.I., in 1911; her father left the family when she was 3. Ebner’s mother, Rachel, held various jobs but fending for herself and her daughter was not easy.

“When I was young I lived with my maternal grandparents in New York. My grandfather was so busy reading Torah,” says Ebner, “he didn’t pay much attention to me. He was a very observant Jew but not very understanding.”

Her grandmother refused “to cling to the old world. She spoke English very well,” says Ebner. “She had nine children, and instead of getting the Shabbos goy to turn on the stove, she would go to the bedroom. One of the children would turn it on.”

Growing up, Ebner lived with her mother for intervals; she went to 16 different public schools in New York City. “I was a tomboy. I was a good student and I would rather dance than eat,” she says. “School was a haven” but Ebner never attended college, a dream she still talks about. “Nobody told us I could have gotten a scholarship,” she laments.

During her years in New York, “I was exposed to other religions. I ate in Italian people’s homes with statues of Jesus. I mingled with everybody. To this day, I can’t stand prejudice.”

Ebner’s mother worked on Saturdays and “we never kept kosher,” she says. “I was glad I was Jewish. I felt our religion was the most intelligent. Jewish people weren’t nicer people but we were downtrodden. We understood what it was like and were friendlier to other people.”

Ebner married Joseph Harry Ebner on July 31, 1934. They moved to Tucson in 1935 after trying to make a go of it in Boston, his hometown. Her husband worked for the AR-Jay deli owned by Ebner’s Aunt Rose and Uncle Sam Kipnis, who were former New Yorkers.

Kipnis worked with the Jewish gangster Dutch Schultz during prohibition, notes Ebner; his history is chronicled in “What They Saved: Pieces of a Jewish Past” (University of Nebraska Press, 2011) by Nancy K. Miller, who was also Kipnis’ niece. The “Distant Cousins” chapter in “What They Saved” is about Ebner.

After several years in Tucson, when World War II broke out Ebner and her husband moved back to Boston where Joe worked in defense. He soon was reclassified 1A and shipped out to the European front. After the war their first of two children, Michael, was born in Boston in 1946. They moved back to Tucson but were back in Boston when their daughter, Sarah, was born on Jan. 11, 1950. The family moved back to Tucson for good in 1961.

Ebner and her husband were among the earliest members of Congregation Bet Shalom, where Sarah [Frieden] is the administrator/bookkeeper.

Ebner spends a lot of time thinking about her past, she says, and contemplating some of life’s big questions. Having lived through an entire century, she has a unique vantage point. She has a cell phone and has used a computer, but, says Ebner, “it’s too bad children are so involved staring at screens, not outdoors tossing a ball, playing hopscotch. They’re too isolated. They don’t have the emotions we had. They’re disaffected and get callous at an early age.”

As for society at large, “I don’t think anything has changed,” says Ebner. “If you’re Jewish or if you’re in one sect of Christians, like the Baptists, they don’t like other Protestants and vice versa. There are always people who don’t like each other.

“Religion should be personal,” she told the AJP. “Look at how many wars went on in the name of religion, how many people have been persecuted in the name of religion. Not everyone likes the same food but they keep it to themselves. We don’t fight because of the food we eat.”

The Jewish people “have been persecuted for so long there are always some who gain positions of power, who make it, but human nature hasn’t changed,” she affirms. For example, “people used to whisper about things that happened like sexual harassment but these things have always happened.”

As for Ebner’s perspective on the big picture: “From my small microscope I need a God. I need a belief,” she says. “There’s something that makes the spring and summer. I believe there’s a spiritual force but I can’t name it. But I don’t have to make up my mind.”

What with the cost of fancy, professionally made kosher

Discount Purim basket with a rich theme: Products purchased at a 99 Cents Only Store connect to characters in the Purim story. (Edmon J. Rodman)

shalach manot (from “mishloach manot,” “sending of portions”) baskets going for 50 bucks and up, I wanted to find a less expensive way to share the joy with more people.

I wanted to make my own basket of goodies, but what were the basic requirements? I mean very basic. On Purim, according to Jewish law, you should send at least two food items to at least one person, both to ensure that they have food for a Purim feast and to promote friendship between Jews.

So what kind of friendship could I promote for, let’s say, 10 bucks or less? I wanted variety, abundance, novelty and kosher. I wondered, could I fill my basket at that purple island of bargains, the 99 Cents Only Store?

I really didn’t want to give a basket filled with clearance cookies, weird candy and obscure snacks. Yet since these stores promote themselves by saying “Shop us first … for everything,” with perfect Purim logic I reasoned why not shalach manot?

Admittedly I had my doubts. That is until while searching the Valentine’s Day chazerai for some kind of box to hold my discoveries — once they put out the Easter baskets, the pickings are easier — I saw a kippah-wearing man also eyeing the stuff.

“Do you ever shop in here for Purim?” I finally asked, desperately wanting a co-conspirator.

“Yes, for shalach manot they have all kinds of stuff, sometimes even close-out Jewish things,” he replied.

“There’s kosher apple juice, food, and you get so much more here. You found the right meshuginah,” he added, pointing me toward a red plastic container that he claimed was “holiday” looking.

As he gave me his phone number, in case I needed more details, I discovered he was a rabbi. I felt so relieved.

The rabbi was right. Walking the aisles, I easily found packages of nuts, cookies, candies and pretzels, all certified kosher. But that wasn’t enough; I also wanted a theme. The best Purim baskets have some clever connecting idea, like “A night at the movies,” the theme of a plastic movie popcorn box filled with candy and popping corn that my synagogue sent me one year.

I brainstormed for a minute, and after tossing aside a theme of Shushan nightlife (I didn’t want to give a basket of 99-cent booze), I settled on a more sober theme (or so I thought) of the Megillah’s four main characters.

An accompanying text would help explain my theme, but since a 99 Cents Only store is unlikely to carry a Megillah Esther, I would need to be flexible. Luckily, in the book aisle I found a soft cover King James version of the Bible that had the Book of Esther.

“Now it came to pass in the days of Ahasuerus,” the text began. What could I find to represent the king, ruler of 127 provinces, and by royal decree the instigator of a search for “fair young virgins”? In the drink aisle I found a bluish plastic bottle of G2, Gatorade Perform, which the packaging said would “replenish vital nutrients and energy” — just the thing to represent an active ruler with a “second house” just for his women.

“Now in Shushan the palace there was a certain Jew whose name was Mordecai,” the text continued, going on to say “And he brought up Hadassah, that is, Esther, his uncle’s daughter …”

To represent Esther, I found a package of Hannah Montana Milk Chocolate Sticker coins. The Hannah Montana/Miley Stewart double life characterization (played by Miley Cyrus on the Disney show) reminded me of Esther’s double life as a secret Jewish maiden who is also Ahasuerus’ queen.

For Mordecai, who saves the king from an assassination plot, and ultimately emerges as victor in a power struggle with Haman, I thought some bling would show off his new status. In the candy aisle I found a package of Ring Pops, the “wearable candy.” I imagined the sunlight glinting off them as Mordecai sat by the gate.

But first he would need to escape the shadow of Haman.

“After these things did King Ahasuerus promote Haman the son of Hammedatha the Agagite … And all the kings servants bowed and reverenced Haman … But Mordecai bowed not …”

For Haman, by tradition I needed something like a grogger to properly blot out his name. On the toy rack I found just the thing: a hand-shaped clapper that even had a large sticker that read “Make some Noise!”

Thinking about Haman always makes me hungry for hamantaschen. Suspecting that the 99 Cents Only Store would be short on three-cornered pastries, I searched the cookie aisle until I found a fill-in: Knott’s Berry Farms round raspberry shortbreads, each with a dollop of red showing in the center. I imagined if you trimmed them to a triangle, they would look close. I did say flexibility would be key.

Now to add the final touch to my shalach manot, and to fulfill the Purim tradition that one should drink on Purim until they don’t know the difference between Mordecai and Haman, I found an unlikely solution: Larry the Cable Guy Beer Bread. Just add Beer and Butter.”

According to Larry, who is featured on the package wearing his trademark sleeveless plaid shirt, “This recipe calls for a can of beer … just be sure to use the beer and not drink it!”

It’s Purim. Of course you can drink the beer. But my Purim basket will carry this warning: When you can’t tell the difference between Larry and Miley Cyrus, it’s time to stop.

(Edmon J. Rodman is a JTA columnist who writes on Jewish life from Los Angeles. Contact him at edmojace@gmail.com.)

It’s more than mere “tradition” to give goodies to friends and family for Purim, which this year falls on the evening of March 7. The practice of giving food – specifically two different types — was mandated as a mitzvah at the suggestion of Queen Esther (you’ll find it in the Megillah), and we’re still obeying to this day. I like to go out of my way to give mishloach manot to people I just met or to new friends. It’s a great opportunity to break the ice with new neighbors, too.

When it comes to your goodie basket, you can go from cheap and cheerful to expensive and exotic. The only things that limit you are your imagination and your wallet.

Now don’t stress over this. Technically you only have to give to one person, not your whole town, but chances are you’ll want to do more. I’ve been there, believe me.

Exhibit A — the easy way: The first year I was married, I borrowed (OK, stole) the easiest Purim idea from a friend. I sent cute little boxes filled with purple yummy stuff along with a card wishing everyone a “Grape Purim!”

Exhibit B — the hard way: When we moved into our new house three years ago, Purim fell on erev Shabbat. I made an individual challah roll, a quart of fresh chicken soup and added a small bottle of grape juice for 60 families — yes, 60 — in our new neighborhood. That was a little intense and a lot crazy.

Overboard, yes, but I was on the right track because there is something special about giving a homemade treat. But I’ve made a solemn promise to myself (and to my husband, to keep our household peaceful) that if I go this route, I’ll do it with a lot of planning and forethought. No last-minute panic.

At first I couldn’t decide between two ideas, so I developed two EASY recipes. (Not like making 60 homemade challah rolls!) Again, I “borrowed” a few ideas from my friends, Tamar and Hadassah, who work with me on JoyofKosher.com, but I can’t remember which was which.

Anyway, you’re welcome to borrow these ideas from us, and we won’t tell a soul.

Option 1: an English Tea Time Shalach Manot.

Homemade jam is so easy to make, so (literally) sweet, and a perfect way to use up those bits of frozen berries in your freezer. You can package homemade jam and some biscuits, crackers, scones or English muffins (you can buy all of these) and a box of tea. To that end, I present my recipe for Homemade Mixed Berry Jam.

Option 2: a “movie night” theme is fun and family friendly.

You get to satisfy all your cravings for Twizzlers, soda and popcorn. But not just any popcorn: We’re talking my homemade, gourmet Maple Almond Popcorn. Don’t worry — it’s truly Quick & Kosher, and so easy you’ll do it again and again.

I decided to go with Option 2, so I picked up some plastic movie-style popcorn tubs, and I’m rounding out the package with a can of soda tucked into a Coke cup with a lid (got ‘em from the pizza store). And of course, I’ll add a pack of Twizzlers.

To complete this mishloach manot package, I will create an “admit one” ticket of some sort with a poem or catchy line inviting people to the greatest movie now playing, “The Purim Story,” and coming soon, “The Exodus from Egypt.”

While you are making all of that to send out on Purim, be sure to allow yourself a taste for quality control. Don’t you know that every good cook takes a taste before the goods leave the kitchen?

HOMEMADE MIXED BERRY JAM

Prep time: 5 minutes
Cook time: 45 minutes
Servings: 8-10

Ingredients:
3 cups frozen mixed berries (raspberries and blueberries)
1 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup diced peeled granny smith apple
2 tablespoons water

Preparation:
1. In a large saucepan, combine all ingredients and bring to a boil over medium high heat. Reduce to a simmer and cook for 30 to 45 minutes or until thickened and berries are broken down. Cool completely.
2. Can be stored in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks or can be canned and stored for up to 6 months.

MAPLE ALMOND POPCORN

Prep time: 5 minutes
Cook time: 15 minutes
Servings: 8

Ingredients:
6 cups popcorn
1 cup slivered almonds
1 cup maple syrup

Preparation:
1. Grease a large bowl with cooking spray. Add popcorn and almonds and stir to combine. Set aside.
2. Line a large sheet pan with foil and grease with cooking spray.
3. In a medium heavy bottom saucepan over medium high heat, bring maple syrup to a boil. Boil until maple syrup reaches 300 on a candy thermometer. Immediately pour over popcorn and stir vigorously to coat. Quickly spread popcorn mixture onto prepared pan and let cool completely before breaking into pieces.

(Jamie Geller is the author of the best-selling “Quick & Kosher” cookbook series and creator of the Joy of Kosher with Jamie Geller magazine. She is the host of the popular “Quick & Kosher” cooking show online at youtube.com/joyofkosher and on-air on JLTV. Follow more of Geller’s Quick & Kosher cooking adventures on Twitter @JoyofKosher and on facebook.com/joyofkosher.) 

The live, interactive program will provide advice on how family caregivers can work with care professionals to develop an effective plan of care. Caregivers will learn how to identify key issues and problems, locate needed experts and outline expected outcomes to ensure that a loved one is cared for in the best manner possible.

Pre-registration for the webinar is required. To sign up, visit the registration link at privatedutyhomecare.org.

Fran Donnellan

It’s probably one of the most important yet dreaded conversations you can have with an aging parent, and it often begins something like this: “You should NOT be driving.” Not surprisingly, the conversation usually goes downhill from there. In this column, I’ll outline some information and suggestions to help you address this issue for a more positive outcome.

Many of us continue to be good, safe drivers as we age. AARP offers an excellent class to help keep seniors safe on the road. However, let’s be honest: normal changes to eyesight, hearing, range of motion and reflexes can negatively affect driving skills. For example, as we get older, we need more light to see things. Glare from the sun, oncoming headlights, or other street lights may trouble older drivers more than before. Peripheral vision may also narrow. Add cataracts, macular degeneration or glaucoma, not to mention arthritis, diabetes, Parkinson’s and other neurological diseases, a stroke, sleep disorders or Alzheimer’s disease and you’ve just gone from unsafe to downright dangerous behind the wheel.

Pointing out such disturbing facts can be most helpful when you’re also armed with facts about reasonable alternatives to driving. Nobody would choose to be a danger behind the wheel if they knew about (and were accepting of) safe and affordable alternatives. Money saved on gasoline, insurance premiums, car maintenance and repairs (not to mention medical bills and lawsuits) can go a long way to help fund alternatives like public transportation, cabs, a private chauffeur or retirement community living. Some elders use their cars only to go to the grocery store, bank and restaurants, and to attend religious services. Many grocery stores and restaurants will deliver for a small fee. Houses of worship may have programs to aid seniors, such as the Jewish Federation of Southern Arizona grants to three local synagogues for taxi transportation for Jewish seniors (see azjewishpost.com/2010/jfsa-grants-support-additional-senior-programs/). Reviewing the alternatives with your parent can help them realize they can still be independent and in control, without putting lives at risk.

Waiting for third-party authorities to intervene may work in other states, but in Arizona you could be in for a long wait. Our “extended” driver’s license does not expire until age 65. The photo and vision screening only need to be updated every 12 years. Drivers ages 60 and over receive a five-year license. A lot can change in five years.

Is it any wonder Arizona roads are filled with so many drivers who shouldn’t be behind the wheel?

The law requires drivers to report to the DMV any condition that may affect their ability to drive safely. If someone is involved in an accident and it’s found that his or her health condition was a contributing factor, they may be prosecuted and their insurance may be void. Think about that.

The evidence in favor of older drivers giving up their keys is not hard to find when you begin to look. So why do so many elders insist on driving anyway? It’s not only because of habit. To them it may be pure principle. Driving a car, just like owning a home, symbolizes individual freedom and the American dream. The thought of giving up either is difficult indeed. You can empathize. Nobody willingly gives up their independence. The sooner people realize they can still be independent without these symbols, the happier they will be.

Having worked in retirement community settings for the better part of 25 years, I can tell you older people truly thrive when they are in control of their own destiny. Many safe drivers soon give up their cars after moving to a retirement community because they realize they are more comfortable leaving the driving to someone else. They can go more places and they do. They can still be in control without putting their own and other lives at risk.

Age is the usher to many natural changes. Such changes should be anticipated and accepted, rather than denied and fought. Accepting the new reality is part of a healthy grieving process when it comes to overcoming any type of loss, whether it’s the loss of a spouse, a job, or the ability to see or hear or drive. Once the new reality is honestly acknowledged and accepted, the individual usually experiences a euphoric new sense of freedom to reinvest in life.

Families can know all of this and still find conversations and decisions difficult. That’s natural. A trusted third party such as a doctor, accountant, attorney, elder care professional or family friend can often diffuse tension and help ease transitions.

Fran Donnellan has served in leadership roles for 25 years at select Arizona retirement communities. She is a past member of the American College of Health Care Administrators and a former/founding member of the board for the CareGiver Training Institute. She earned her bachelor’s degree in social work from the University of Missouri and studied geriatrics at Arizona State University. She currently serves as executive director for The Fountains at La Cholla in northwest Tucson.

Lillian Silverman at her 100th birthday party with her grandson from Tucson, Jeff Jacobson, and his wife, Rachel, and son, Sam, in 2010. (Courtesy Alan Jacobson)

On July 4, 2011, the Brooklyn borough president proclaimed the day “Lillian Silverman, 101st Birthday Celebration Day.” The Arizona Jewish Post learned of this energetic senior’s special recognition through her family, many of whom reside in Tucson. From children through great-grandchildren, three generations have inherited Lillian Rudnick Silverman’s generous spirit. Silverman’s grandson, Jeff Jacobson, says that his grandmother instilled the understanding in her children and grandchildren that “life is more than just about themselves.” She has inspired her family, says Jacobson, to do what they can to give back to their community and work to make positive changes in the world, even when faced with adversity.

Silverman has two children, Florence Jacobson, 77, and Leonard Rudnick, 71. Rudnick began working at age 15 helping mentally handicapped children. He went on to a career working with youth with learning disabilities, eventually running a program at New York Medical College. Tucson Unified School District brought Rudnick to Tucson in the 1970s to work with learning disabled students, but that job somehow evaporated when he arrived. The setback motivated Rudnick to return to school himself, and he became a chiropractor in 1975. For years Rudnick worked pro bono for the Arizona Ice Cats as their team chiropractor. He currently volunteers with the Pima County Sheriff’s department while still maintaining a chiropractic practice that includes travel and lecturing on his groundbreaking use of low-intensity lasers for treating pain and healing wounds.

Florence Jacobson, who retired to Tucson in 2001, remembers that her parents had been heavily involved in B’nai B’rith for many years, virtually running their local lodge in Brooklyn. She vividly recalls how in 1950, when she was 14 years old, her mother sat her down and told her not to be alarmed, but there was a possibility that her father would be arrested. When the teenager asked why, Silverman explained that her first husband, Abraham Rudnick, had been involved in gun running for the nascent State of Israel. Though there was, in fact, no arrest, a worse tragedy struck when Rudnick died at age 42, forcing his wife to find work in order to support her two children. Jacobson says her mother rose above that adversity, marshalling her energies to work a full-time job, check in daily with her elderly mother who lived nearby, as well as care for her two children. “We didn’t know how poor we were,” Jacobson recalls, “and family responsibilities made it difficult for Mom to volunteer much after Dad died.”

Like her brother’s, Jacobson’s career path led her to work with special needs students. She retired to Tucson after teaching at the junior high level, a job she says “was rough, though I never enjoyed anything as much as working with those kids.” Jacobson’s “giving back” extended to volunteer work at her children’s schools, serving as PTA president and on the education committee of her synagogue. She lauds her mother’s example of living strong and staying physically fit and mentally engaged. The 101-year-old Silverman, she says, continues to walk at least an hour daily in her Borough Park neighborhood and stays engaged in the world. “She’s a real pistol, a gutsy lady who can name all the justices on the Supreme Court today and still relishes reading the science section of the Sunday Times.”

Jeff Jacobson, 41, Silverman’s grandson, is an attorney in Tucson. He says that his grandmother and those in her Brooklyn community demonstrate a belief in the importance of neighbors helping each other. His grandmother’s formula for living — loving people unconditionally, separating the problem from the person and helping others when you can — inspired him to serve in the Jewish, as well as the greater community, he says. Jacobson currently sits on the board of the Jewish Community Foundation of Southern Arizona and has served on the boards of Congregation Or Chadash and the JCF’s Project Dor Habah, which encourages participation in Jewish community activities by people in their 30s and 40s. He has also established the Wills for Heroes Foundation, which offers free wills and powers of attorney to first responders in the Tucson area.

Wayne Rudnick, 44, another of Silverman’s five grandchildren, is also committed to giving back to the community. A Tucson chiropractor, he assumed his father’s position as the University of Arizona’s Ice Cats team doctor. As a child, he recalls, he spent hours walking the neighborhood in Brooklyn with his grandmother. “Everyone knew her,” he says, “and she seemed to be part of an internal neighborhood social-support system. I remember how Grandma would cook all this food and deliver it to neighbors in need.”

At Lillian Silverman’s 100th birthday celebration in Brooklyn in 2010, Rudnick saw how good deeds may come full circle: “There are New Yorkers in Grandma’s neighborhood who remember her taking care of their grandparents and now they are stepping up to check in and do things to help care for her.”

Such neighborhoods, with long-established families whose generations stay in place, are rare in American life today. But a desire to give of oneself to help others in the community is luckily a tradition that many families carry on. Witness the example of Payton Rudnick, one of Silverman’s 11 great-grandchildren: In August 2010, for his Bar Mitzvah project, Payton started collecting soccer equipment and clothing for a nonprofit organization, the Peace Passers. “I am really passionate about soccer, so that was something that I felt good about working in,” Payton says. “I looked for something where kids could give back something that has value for them, not just by asking for adults to give checks.” Payton, who celebrated becoming a Bar Mitzvah on May 28, 2011 at Congregation Or Chadash, continues to work with Peace Passers, which sends soccer equipment to children in Africa, Central and South America and the Caribbean. He has surpassed his collection goals, stated on his website, givethroughsoccer.com.

The centenarian, in a lively phone conversation this week, told the AJP the recipe for her contented longevity. “Share and give of yourself. What’s important is not so much what you give, but that you give with love.” When asked if she had been out for her daily walk yet, she exclaimed, “Oh my yes. I must walk and if I don’t, that’s like one part of my medication that I didn’t take. It’s a gift to be healthy and walking has done more than just keep me well. All my life I’ve  walked in my neighborhood and I’ve come to know all the children and mothers that I see on the street and they all know me. The children sometimes ask their mothers if they can go home with Lily and of course they don’t, as we only know each other from passing on the street. But it’s still nice to connect to those around you.”

We wished Silverman continued good health and her gracious reply was, “Thank you for calling, I’ve enjoyed talking with you. Good health to you and get out and walk!”

Prof. Dafna Benayahu and her team at Tel Aviv University’s Sackler School of Medicine say their findings explain for the first time why older people who have exercised throughout their lives age more gracefully. They have discovered how endurance exercise increases the number of muscle stem cells and enhances their ability to rejuvenate old muscles. The researchers hope their finding can lead to a new drug to help the elderly and immobilized heal their muscles faster.

The results of the study were published last year in the journal PLoS ONE.

The real rat race

The muscles and skeleton in our bodies work together, explains Benayahu. “When we age, we experience sarcopenia, a decline in mass and function of muscles, and osteopenia, which refers to bone loss,” she says. As a result, our musculoskeletal system is more susceptible to daily wear and tear, which also explains the increased risk of falling in the elderly.

Investigating a rat population, Dr. Gabi Shefer from the research team says that the findings show that exercise increased the number of satellite cells (muscle stem cells) — a number that normally declines with aging. The researchers believe that a decline in the number of these cells and their functionality may prevent proper maintenance of muscle mass and its ability to repair itself, leading to muscle deterioration.

Comparing the performance of rats of different ages and sexes, they found that the number of satellite cells increased after rats ran on a treadmill for 20 minutes a day for a 13-week period. The younger rats showed a 20 percent to 35 percent increase in the average number of stem cells per muscle fiber retained — and older rats benefited even more significantly, exhibiting a 33 percent to 47 percent increase in stem cells.

A good reason to get up and dance

Endurance exercise also improved the levels of “spontaneous locomotion” — the feeling that tells our bodies to just get up and dance — of old rats. Aging is typically associated with a reduced level of spontaneous locomotion.

The combination of aging and a sedentary lifestyle significantly contributes to the development of diseases such as osteoporosis, obesity, diabetes and cardiovascular diseases, as well as a decline in cognitive abilities. If researchers can discover a method to “boost” satellite cells in our muscles, that could simulate the performance of young and healthy muscles — and hold our aging bones in place.

“We hope to understand the mechanisms for the activation codes of muscle stem cells at the molecular level,” says Benayahu. “With this advance, we can let ourselves dream about creating a new drug for humans — one that could increase muscle mass and ameliorate the negative effects of aging.”

Grants for this study were provided by the EU-FP7 Excell project; the Israeli Ministry of Health; and the U.S.-Israel Binational Science Foundation, jointly with Prof. Zipora Yablonka-Reuveni from the University of Washington.

Source: American Friends of Tel Aviv University (www.aftau.org).

Fran Donnellan

If you’re a baby boomer lucky enough to have aging parents, chances are you’ve been noticing changes in your parents’ activity level, health, diet or mental state. You want to help, but you’re not always sure how. You need information, but don’t always know where to turn. In this series of columns, I hope to enlighten adult children with information they can use to help their aging parents thrive, regardless of their situation.

To get started, let’s go back to that place and time when you first began to worry about your parents’ health and well-being. Perhaps it began with a thought like this:

My parents should not be driving.

My parents need to get out more.

My parents are not enjoying life the way they used to.

My parents shouldn’t be eating that way.

My parents really need to exercise.

My parents shouldn’t be living alone.

Each one of the above statements expresses a desire to influence the way your parents live, not because you want to take control, but because you care. You’re concerned that your parents aren’t living to their fullest potential, or worse, that their current lifestyle could be unsafe. But let’s face it, you’re still uncomfortable with the prospect of parenting your parents.

Even so, experts like Virginia Morris, author of “How to Care for Aging Parents,” agree that it’s important to talk openly with your parents about:

• Their fears, needs, priorities and wishes;

• Finances;

• Health and medical care (what should you know if you have to make their decisions one day);

• Housing options (where they might want to live if they couldn’t remain at home).

Pick the right moment

By far the best time to bring up these questions is before a crisis occurs. If there is a triggering event, be sure to pick a moment that will not add additional stress. Do not blindside them. A large family gathering is probably not the place. Consider scheduling a special time to talk; let them know that there is something important you would like to discuss. Ask them when and where would be good for them. It might be useful to set up a recurring time to talk about upcoming decisions and let the rest of your time together be free of difficult decision-making.

Your parents most likely have noticed the changes in their behavior and lifestyle that you have begun to notice, and they may not want to acknowledge them. Make sure to ask questions that will help you understand their experience and perception of the aging process. Be willing to follow their lead. There will probably be some surprises that will help you be a good resource and support for them throughout this time of change. Listen.

You no doubt know your parents well and realize how best to start this dialogue, but seeking the counsel of someone who has personal or professional experience with seniors may be of great help. You may want to confer with an outside expert on your own before starting the dialogue with your parent or ask your parent if it would be okay to include that person in your discussions. Having someone from the “outside” also may diffuse some of the tension that can accompany family discussions about coping with change.

The inkling that your parents may benefit from additional support may become clear suddenly, perhaps as the result of a specific event, or may be a gradual realization, as the subtle clues of diminished happiness and fragile health add up. But it can’t hurt to be prepared. You will have some of the groundwork laid and know how your parent feels about many potentially tricky issues.

So, talk early, and talk often. And stay tuned to the next senior section of “Are your parents thriving?” in the Arizona Jewish Post.

Fran Donnellan has served in leadership roles for 25 years at select Arizona retirement communities. She is a past member of the American College of Health Care Administrators and a former/founding member of the board for the CareGiver Training Institute. She earned a bachelor’s degree in social work from University of Missouri and studied geriatrics at Arizona State University. She currently serves as executive director for The Fountains at La Cholla in northwest Tucson.

Sharon Arkin (Sheila Wilensky)

In her 40s, Sharon Arkin had an epiphany. “I can still do the kinds of things I did when I was 18,” she realized. “I’ve never really changed very much.” Arkin, who turned 72 last month, maintains a list of activities that might stagger an 18-year-old.

She’s a clinical psychologist and Alzheimer’s disease assessment, treatment and risk specialist. She runs Bed and Bagels of Tucson and is active in Servas International, a hospitality exchange program. She hosts lodgers from around the world, and has stayed with homeowners in Turkey, Italy, Peru, India, Costa Rica and Australia.

Arkin volunteers for nonprofits including the Sierra Club, Audubon Society, International Rescue Commission, and the Owl and Panther expressive arts program for refugees who’ve experienced torture and traumatic dislocation. She speaks Spanish, German and basic Hebrew.

This month, Arkin traveled in China and Israel, but first she took off on an annual adventure with one of her Israeli grandsons. She and Matan, 13, bicycled along the Maine coast and participated in an inter-generational sailing class in Boothbay Harbor, Me.

“I have an unusually high energy level. I don’t sleep a lot,” says Arkin. “My mantra has always been take risks, get hurt, heal fast.”

Growing up in Chicago, Arkin was “very culturally interested” in Judaism, but it wasn’t until years later that she became a Bat Mitzvah at age 45. After receiving her bachelor’s degree at age 22 from American University, in Washington, D.C., she married an Israeli who was a Holocaust survivor and a refugee from Kazakhstan.

From 1964 to 1980, Arkin worked for the U.S. Department of Labor’s War on Poverty, the unofficial title for legislation introduced by President Lyndon B. Johnson in 1964, which included Head Start, Medicare and Medicaid, and work study programs that aimed to raise the living standards of the nation’s poor.

Arkin is proud to have been part of that effort. She worked full-time for the Labor Department while getting her master’s degree in counseling at the University of Maryland in 1970. “I had three kids who were born in 1963, 1966 and 1969,” says Arkin. “I had all three on a Saturday or Sunday after working on Friday, and went back to work six weeks later.”

Following her divorce in 1980, Arkin took a course at the Adler School of Professional Psychology in Chicago, and eventually earned a doctor of psychology degree (Psy.D). “I had taken a lot of Adlerian parenting classes. I started [doing] democratic parenting,” she says. “I thought Freudian psychology was a lot of BS.”

While doing coursework in Chicago, Arkin lived with her mother, Bee Schultz. She began to wonder if something was wrong when “every night for dinner my mother made baked chicken legs and canned green beans. The telling thing was that she stopped conversing about world events,” notes Arkin. “My mother couldn’t compose a two-line thank-you note after my father died. She was 75.”

At first, the doctors thought Arkin’s mother was depressed, but her condition escalated to “total memory loss,” Arkin says. “She started introducing herself by her maiden name after being married 49 years. That’s how I got into Alzheimer’s treatment.”

After completing a doctoral internship working with Alzheimer’s patients at the University of California at Irvine, Arkin started a postdoctoral fellowship at the University of Arizona’s department of speech and hearing sciences in 1993. She conceived and directed “Elder Rehab by Students,” an Alzeimer’s disease intervention research and student-administered Alzheimer’s rehabilitation program funded by the National Institute on Aging. The program operated from 1996 to 2001, measuring the effects of a multi-modality intervention on language performance, rate of decline, physical fitness, and mood of persons with early to moderate stage Alzheimer’s.

The Elder Rehab program garnered a 2001 Mind Alert award of the American Society on Aging. Arkin has published numerous professional articles and editorials in journals such as Clinical Gerontologist and the American Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease.

Having worked with Alzheimer’s patients for so long, Arkin is keenly aware of how quickly anyone’s health can turn. “If I end up losing my mobility and have to sit in a wheelchair I’ll study birds,” she says. “If I lose my cognitive ability I don’t want to live.”

Meanwhile, Arkin has “done just about everything. I’ve rafted the Grand Canyon, been to Machu Picchu. Oh, I want to take my grandsons to the Galapagos,” she adds. She’s even attempted memoir-writing classes but decided, “I can’t take the time to stop doing stuff and sit down writing about what I did in the past.”